Are you an Extreme Angler?

We all struggle with the delusions that the way we are doing things is better than the way others are doing them. In this world where we let our delusions, coupled with other's labels, define us...why is it not enough to just simply be?

I am a fly fisherman.

High Hopes.

Not long ago, I signed up for a fly swap. The theme of the swap is foam, anything with foam.

Today I tied my contributions to the swap. The flies are klinkhammers with foam posts. I tried my hardest to tie them well, but they came out less than perfect.

I see at least seven things wrong with this tie.



Despite my very best efforts, I have failed again. My failure is never-ending, I will never be allowed into another swap.

Validation, I caught a fish. Heartbreak, the picture is aweful.

I caught a fish. How long has it been? I don't know, but I finally caught one.

The fish was a good fish. The excitement of the hookset, the fight and the landing was a very unfamiliar and foreign feeling. I don't know how long it had been since I felt this good. The old analogy of 'a kid in a candy store' comes to mind.

I photoed the fish and quickly released it to swim another day.

Then I reviewed the pictures to revel in my accomplishment.

Heartbreak.

Pack mentality.

Sometimes the group says, "Hey, let's all go over there and fish together."

To them I say, "Thank you, but I will go fish over here alone."

I can't do anything right.

I was the first presenter at the flyshop's first fly tying club meeting. I did not realize I was presenting, but when I showed up, a little late, I was introduced as, "Emo, our presenter for the evening."

I did my best to tie both interesting and effective patterns that the other folks hadn't seen before. I think they were happy with the patterns that I tied even if I was less than satisfied and felt things could have gone better.

One thing I learned from this experience is that I tie backwards. You read that right, I tie backwards. I wrap the thread around the hook the wrong way. I have since tried wrapping the thread around the hook the proper way but it feels so awkward.

While I get some satisfaction from being unique in the way I tie flies, I have been feeling really sad that this is yet another thing I am unable to do properly. Why do I have so much trouble with everything? I didn't get much sleep last night.