This Pain is Real.

I put a size 4 streamer, barb and everything, through my arm yesterday. It was in there deep. I won't go into the details of how it happened, it is just one of things I have learned to expect to happen to me. I used the mono trick to rip it out of my arm.

I think the only emotion I am able to feel anymore is pain. I cannot remember the last time I felt excited or happy, and I certainly can't remember the last time I felt love. Pain feels so real, it feels like life.

When I ripped that hook out of my flesh, the pain that I feel on the inside was, for a brief moment, physically realized on the outside. It hurt, it felt real,it felt good.