GPS Coordinates

The GPS Guy gave away the GPS coordinates to my favorite spot on the river.

I am still me.

You are trying to remember why you needed those zippered waders, maybe you are trying to be someone you're not?

These extreme adventure anglers that you see on the film tours are making you feel insecure.

They tell you about the latest in outerwear systems, the gear that you bought last year is obsolete.

You went out and purchased the latest fast action fly rod so that you can keep up with all the other sheep.

So pack up your gear and go hit the water, but leave that orange vest on the floor. It makes you look awkward, you feel like a whore. You're not you anymore.

This Pain is Real.

I put a size 4 streamer, barb and everything, through my arm yesterday. It was in there deep. I won't go into the details of how it happened, it is just one of things I have learned to expect to happen to me. I used the mono trick to rip it out of my arm.

I think the only emotion I am able to feel anymore is pain. I cannot remember the last time I felt excited or happy, and I certainly can't remember the last time I felt love. Pain feels so real, it feels like life.

When I ripped that hook out of my flesh, the pain that I feel on the inside was, for a brief moment, physically realized on the outside. It hurt, it felt real,it felt good.

Cruel Jokes.

I fished in PA this past weekend. I wanted to try my luck on the famous Letort Spring Creek in Carlisle.

The fish laughed at me. It has been weeks since I have caught any fish, is it possible for me to feel any worse?

Yes, it can get worse. Someone out there was catching fish, having a banner day. Pictures all over the internet make it all the more painful, like a razor blade cutting up my arm.



Why couldn't this have been me? Sometimes I feel like this is all just a cruel joke and I think, somewhere out there, Life is sitting around with his friends laughing at me.