Hope.

I gave you my heart. There is nothing left for me to give. At least, nothing left in this chapter.

I will allow this place to remain, to be swallowed into the depths of the web. I said this project has been a failure, but that is a lie. I have come to grips with the world, with an understanding that my reality is just dreams, dreams not based upon anything tangible.

The time has come to move onto different things, new projects. I will let you know what these projects are when they become concrete. But not here. Oh no, never again here.

I don't know if I have another year in me.

As the year comes to an end, I am left with feelings of resentment. I created this blog as an effort to drum up some business for my guide service, yet the phone remains quiet, the fly rods remain unused, and I don't know if any bit of hope remains.

I cannot even begin to understand why no one wants to fish with me. All the time, I see guides connecting happy fishermen with their quarry on the river. What do these people have that I cannot offer?

This has been another year lost and alone.

Merry Christmas.

I hope everyone's Christmas is filled with joy and happiness.

Mine will be spent sitting alone in a cold apartment.

This rod failed me.

I have a Winston BIIx 8'6" 5 weight that I would like to trade for some kind of 6 weight, 9' or greater.



The rod is lightly used and in good condition. The sock is a bit dirty from a run-in with some mud, but it has been ran through the wash since this photo. There are still a few stains on it.

The rod itself is horrible. I don't know why I wasted money on this rod. I paid full price, of course, since no companies take me seriously enough to add me to their prostaff (even though I am a guide). I guess the chances are good my dislike for this rod could be greatly contributed to operator error. Still, I need to get rid of it.

Please contact Emo Guide Service if you are interested in a trade.

Remember when we were young.

Fishing wasn't always a priority. Circling a virtual track in a virtual cart with a group of friends was time well spent, as good as any day on the water. Life is simple when all you have to fret over is crossing a finish line before your friends.



Sometimes I think that I wasn't always like this.

"The finish line
is just around the bend
I'll pause this game
so our love will never end"

I don't know if my friends lost me or if I lost them, but I can no longer see them. I don't even know if the finish line still lies ahead...