Every instant spent with my online 'friends' becomes an instant closer to the realization that, very soon, the energy I put into trying to fit in, trying to be 'one of the guys', is going to turn into apathy.
Once, I had pride. Now, every time they cut me with their words, talk about me behind me back, or blog about me what little self-confidence is left is whittled away.
I try, even though the outcome is quite obviously predetermined.
I will try, even if I wasn't cut out to be a fisherman.
This really is the best I can do.
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salmo swallower
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