Close To Me

I got to the river today and there was someone in my favorite spot. He was catching fish, after fish, after fish and all I could do was sit there and watch. Even though I know that he did not mean to hurt me, I felt like he was intentionally thrusting a dagger into my heart then twisting it for good measure.

When I got home I put on The Cure. One day, when I am alone on the river, I hope the Cure is playing in my mind when things come together and I am catching fish, after fish, after fish.



Today was not that day, it can't get any worse than today.

Closing Down?

I was thinking of closing this blog down. It isn't getting any attention or hits and is generating me no business.

I am not going to do that. This blog is an outlet for me to express myself in a society dominated by cultural prostitutes. I will not prostitute myself to gain fame, money, or clients. I am an individual, regardless of whether others can see it.

Eventually, something good may happen. Until then, the tears may fall down my cheeks as I think of wasted days but I will take some comfort in knowing I am no cultural prostitute.

To my readers, I give you my heart.

I screwed up.

I screwed up, it's not really that bad outside.

This weekend was the first in quite a while that I had some free time to fish. Of course, the weathermen decided to play a cruel joke on me and tell me that there was going to be snow this weekend. Well there wasn't. It was surprisingly warmer than was predicted with only light, off-and-on showers.

So as I sit here, watching the water slowly running down my window, I can't help thinking about how nice it could be if things were different for me.

The rain has stopped, the hurting hasn't.

Scott Rods

I asked for a guide discount on a rod from Scott Rods but they said no, of course. Why does everything have to be so difficult? I swear, nothing ever seems to work out for me. Fishing has sucked, I am not getting clients, why would I expect to catch a break from Scott? I should be used to this disappointment by now but it really hurts. Is it because I do not conform to Scott’s cookie cutter image of what a guide should be? What do they have against uniqueness anyway?



In the end it doesn’t really matter, a Scott rod isn’t going to help me or my clients catch any more fish. I just wish something good would happen to me for once, it feels like the whole world is against me.